A Hollingbourne woman who saved herself from the brink of suicide has trained as a hypnotherapist to help others

A mum-of-two who pulled herself back from the brink of suicide after a string of family tragedies has trained as a hypnotherapist to save others from ever getting to that dark place.

Lou Bastable is hoping her story can encourage others to find a way out when they are feeling ending their life is the only option.

The 52-year-old developed severe anxiety after failing to have time to process a series of tragedies in her family within a short space of time.

Lou, who was the youngsest of five siblings, suffered her first big tragedy eight years ago when her sister Jane took her own life. Six months later her sister Pip also took her own life.

Three years later her mum Ann died within 24 hours of having a fall, then a short time later her brother Simon was found passed away in his flat.

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The Hollingbourne resident cleared out his belongings and then got a call from her final sister Cathy to say she had terminal cancer. She died six weeks later with Lou by her side.

On top of the loss of all her immediate family, her father, Tony, had died 12 years earlier, Lou then experienced the breakdown of her 19-year marriage, redundancy, both her children leaving home and the menopause.

“It was a perfect storm,” she said. “I didn’t properly process the bereavements as I just did not have time. Everytime one happened, another one happened. It was horrific.”

She said she coped by being positive and throwing herself into training as a hypnotherapist to help others who might feel the way her sisters did.

“I picked myself up. I had my own family. I had to work.

“I thought I would talk about mental health awareness and raise awaremess and money for charities. I tried to be postive.”

As Lou tried to process the string of terrible family tragedies, she rented a flat from a couple in West Malling. They became good friends.

But Lou was devastated when, while on a walking holiday to Wales, Rachael and Helen Patching were found drowned in a waterfall.

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She said: “They were the loveliest people.”

Ironically it was after training as a psychotherapist and setting up her business that Lou was struck down by severe anxiety.

“I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to build the business and my anxiety was building.”

The fact she knew the neuroscience and had done the training only added to her bad feelings.

She said: “I knew the science, I knew what was happening and why, but I couldn’t get control of it and this led to more and more negative thoughts and self sabotage.

“I had helped people like myself recover so why couldn’t I do it for myself?”

Lou suffered a complete breakdown: “It’s the most unbearable feeling and you just want it to stop. You can’t listen to music; you can’t chose what to listen to it. You can’t climb under the covers like you might want to if you are feeling depressed.

“I couldn’t sleep, watch TV, read and I didn’t want to eat. It is just the worst feeling. You just want to flick a lightswitch to make it stop.”

Lou decided to end the feelings by taking her own life.

She said there is a domino effect when one member of a family takes their own life.

“It opens up the possiblity and breaks the taboo. It becomes an option.”

She won’t go into details about where she went on March 10 but she said she stayed there and paced up and down for up to an hour before realising she could not go through with it.

“I drove home with a feeling of dread and panic, feeling like my life was now going to implode as I knew I had to face the reality of my mental health crisis.

“I knew I was not going to be able to end it and was going to have to face all these feelings. I just wanted to not be here anymore.”

Lou said the next few weeks were unbearable: “I would wake up every day thinking ‘I don’t want to do this day. How am I going to get through this day?’

“I would get through the day minute by minute. Then it would start to be hour by hour.”

Lou, who works in Sittingbourne, was helped by a mental health team and given antidepressants.

As she struggled to get through the days, it was a call from a friend that made Lou take the first baby steps to feeling better.

“He suggested I go for a run and listen to my music,” she said.

At first she told him she couldn’t face it but the next morning she said she put on her trainers and her exercise music and she took the first step.

“I felt good for a few hours after that run,” she said.

Lou, who once lived on a farm in Maidstone, said she tried lots of techniques to help her feel better including calling medication, helplines, talking to friends and family, walking, music, cold showers (it releases huge amounts of dopamine) and meditation.

“It’s about taking positive action. Different things work for different people at different times.”

But she stressed it is about taking “baby steps”.

“First it was the run and the music. Then you are on a level and you feel able to do the next thing. That’s how you recover. You don’t recover overnight, but you can recover quickly.”

Lou said her first run was just three weeks ago, when she was feeling at a zero on the happiness scale. Now she’s a 10.

“I could not be happier,” she said. “I was a zero for weeks when I had my breakdown but I have been a 10 for the last two weeks.

Lou is now a practising hypnotherapist and a mental health champion offering free talks to business, schools and groups which include, her story, how the brain works and a 20-minute group meditation. Click the link to her business here or call Lou on 07904 910115.

She said: “I’ve got my joy for life and my passion back.”