Paige Spiranac auditions to be a stripper: ‘I can’t dance’

Article content

After repeated comments that she try to be a stripper, Paige Spiranac figured she would give it the old college try.

Article content

Golf’s No. 1 influencer released a mockumentary on YouTube about her failure as a golf pro and attempt at a new career goal: Exotic dancer.

The tongue-in-cheeks cheek video shows Spiranac describing her “really long journey” in the golf world and the next steps she’s taking.

“Obviously I had a once-professional golf career, and I crashed and burned publicly in front of everyone,” she says with such a straight face that perhaps she should give acting a whirl next.

Article content

Article content

“I think people last remember me crying during a press conference because I was just such a bad golfer, and I’ve been trying to find my way and figure it out, but I just see these comments everywhere,” Spiranac detailed.

“Because I’m still trying to be a golfer, but they [the social media comments] are like, ‘Are you a golfer or a stripper?’”

She explained that a “lightbulb” went off and realized that perhaps stripping was her “calling.”

Spiranac, however, wasn’t a natural and she soon discovered there’s more to stripping than being sexy and having a body that doesn’t quit.

Article content

“I’m not really set up to do this,” she said with a worried look on her face.

“I can’t dance. I have no upper body strength,” she continued. “We’ll see how it goes. But if the followers and people out there think I can do it, then I can do it.”

Spiranac even came up with some great stripper names to go along with her potential new gig including “Tits McGavin” and “Alpha Jugs” before the perfect name encapsulated both her new and old career: “Sandy Mounds.”

RECOMMENDED VIDEO

But it’s tough out there for a weak, uncoordinated – albeit, stacked, stunning – klutz.

“If there’s one thing that could stop me it’s that I can’t handle pressure,” she said, pretending to hold back tears.

“But you’ll never know unless you give it a shot, right?”

She gives it her all but the video shows her getting booed off stage (really) with text appearing on-screen that reads, “Yet again, Paige suffered disappointment when she realized she wasn’t cut out to be a stripper.”